We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
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I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
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I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.