i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?