Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt. http://tfl.nu/c3u1
  Replies (4) Good night (563) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God? http://tfl.nu/oozc
  Replies (91) Good night (4938) Bad night (734) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/sljh
  Replies (7) Good night (2806) Bad night (508) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me. http://tfl.nu/tn93
  Replies (29) Good night (4619) Bad night (675) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness... http://tfl.nu/ikgx
  Replies (21) Good night (961) Bad night (5561)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight. http://tfl.nu/3ozf
  Replies (54) Good night (9634) Bad night (1253) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning? http://tfl.nu/weqo
  Replies (22) Good night (9936) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it? http://tfl.nu/31c7
  Replies (23) Good night (2845) Bad night (1621) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison. http://tfl.nu/ax4a
  Replies (13) Good night (2383) Bad night (1303) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops. http://tfl.nu/0hfd
  Replies (5) Good night (2008) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding? http://tfl.nu/i6fm
  Replies (15) Good night (1120) Bad night (806) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn. http://tfl.nu/8782
  Replies (1) Good night (752) Bad night (256) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from? (702): Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way http://tfl.nu/vsyq
  Replies (4) Good night (1518) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal. (203): That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue http://tfl.nu/dtw4
  Replies (10) Good night (1450) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process. http://tfl.nu/bbcc
  Replies (8) Good night (834) Bad night (150) Order T-Shirt

Randomize