Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
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As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public