pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
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Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also, beer. Big fan.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
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The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!