Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(330): View more from Ohio

Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.

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(360): View more from Washington

I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...

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(067): View more from

I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening

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