I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just puked most of my soul out..
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
