When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
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There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
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Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize