He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize