Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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