You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
