We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
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I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
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So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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