Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
