she woke up with a sticky ear
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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