I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
How drunk are you?
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