I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
