just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
