I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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