dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
