she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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