tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
How external is "for external use only"?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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