They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
