I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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