I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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