I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize