I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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