Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
