Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
In America we eat man semen.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
