Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize