Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
