I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Shitshow foam night was such a success
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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