i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
