its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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