Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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