You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
that is very illegal...i love you.
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