he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
