How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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