Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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