I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
