You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
