hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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