Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
