Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
