I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
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