the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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