i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
