doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
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Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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