omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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