no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize