If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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