The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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