sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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