it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
