Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
