the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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