Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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