did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
