If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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