Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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