when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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