Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
