I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
