I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
