I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize