worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize